I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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