me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
