How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
