You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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