Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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