You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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