I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
