Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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