the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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