I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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