she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
