Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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