Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
