That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize