Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
