hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
