ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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