My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
