He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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