considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize