The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I love you. Go after that dick
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize