best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
