Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
