One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
