She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
