Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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