uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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