I wannas sexs uuuuu
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
