I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
