my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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