Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drunk is not a location!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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