Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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