he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
