New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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