Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
