just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
