McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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