she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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