do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
