What did we do last night that was yellow?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize