Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
