So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
