Ambien. No doubt about it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
