Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
