Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
