rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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