So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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