I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize