i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
