The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
