My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
