well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He better not be in your backpack
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
