i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
