sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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