Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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