Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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