I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
