i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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