I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Congratulations! We have a period
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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