when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
