I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
