Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
