Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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