margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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