i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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