did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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