I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
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That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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