My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
