apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
