I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
