smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
