The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
