And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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