You just made me feel so damn special
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
